


Detective? No, Monster!

by PieceO



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, M/M, Maribat~, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25554142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PieceO/pseuds/PieceO
Summary: Where everyone's deepest hidden secrets are unveiled by our local dead teen- Marinette!
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Bat family
Comments: 1
Kudos: 157





	Detective? No, Monster!

“Bruce, dear?” Selina called while rummaging her guest room drawer. “I-I can't find my lucky cat pearl!” Fear-filled and desperate eyes turned towards Bruce. The look was very rare and usually meant something huge had happened. “You've seen it. I showed it to you and the other kittens today! The one that a dear friend gave me?”

  
“Oh.” Bruce said with a tight smile. “The friend you always talk about?”

  
“Yes, honey.” She rolled her eyes. “The one over whom you get awfully green from.”

  
“Why would I get jealous of someone who can't get a lady something more than just a pearl?”

  
“Jealousy is one suit that you don't often wear.” She squished his cheeks. “You are so cute when you're like this!”

  
Bruce broke through her cat-like grip on his cheeks. “Let's just go find that precious pearl of yours.” Selina gasped.

  
“What is that I see?” Bruce turned towards the door with a faster pace. “Is that a blush?! Oh, honey, you can't escape me. I've already seen it!”

She let out a small chuckle as his figure completely disappeared, before following him out.

  
Selina stopped herself just in time so as to not collide with the bat wall that was Bruce.

He wordlessly stared up at the ceiling. Selina did the same. She wished she hadn't.

Trying desperately to stay latched to the ceiling, was the eldest child of the Waynes, Richard- or as he liked to be called, Dick- Grayson.

  
Selina didn't need a telescope to see that he was sweating bullets.

  
“...It was you, wasn't it?” Bruce asked- no, that wasn't his thing. Bruce stated.

  
“No! Wait, yes. Oh, no.” He spluttered out, somehow still latched to the ceiling. “It wasn't me! I was just...hanging around!”

  
“Did he just pun while when he clearly should be worried about his inevitable fall?” Selina whispered incredulously to herself.

  
“I'm not catching him this time.” Said a voice from behind them.

  
“You're not supposed to enter from a guest's window, Jason.” The fact that Bruce didn't need to turn around to know who it was, both impressed and worried her.

  
“He was outside the window for the entirety of your conversation.” The coffee addict of the family offered, while sipping his drink.

  
“Did she really have to be here, father?”

Damian, who had popped from the ground- or maybe he was always there and was just too small to be seen- asked.

“Alfred only sits outside her door and doesn't move at all because of her so-called ‘cat charm’.” That cat being referred to gave a helpful meow.

  
“See, Jon?” The most sane one of the bat family said. “My ‘The Waynes are all at one spot’ senses were right! And there's trouble too!”

  
“You're wrong, Nettie.” Jon exclaimed with a smug grin. “The girls and Duke aren't here. I think I'll be taking those ten dollars now!” He smiled an innocent smile, ignoring the surprised and impressed looks he got from the others.

  
“Why, you little-”

  
“Mari! Language!” Marinette looked up to see the disapproving look of Dick’s. “There's a kid here!”

  
Damian scowled. “Oh, right.” Marinette nodded along solemnly, paying no mind to the murderous expression that had settled on the kid’s face. “Also,” She said, “I'm not catching you this time.”

  
Jason snickered at Dick’s fallen face before high-fiving her. They ignored Bruce's stern look. It seemed that ignorance of family members was a thing that ran through the family.

  
“So, what's the situation?” She asked, reminding everyone of the current problem.

  
“Selina lost her lucky cat pearl choker that her dearest friend gave her.” Tim explained while taking another sip of whatever it was that he was drinking. “It's probably Bruce's jealousy acting up again which led to the stealing of the pearl. I say he's the culprit.” He sipped his drink as though declaring an end to his point.

  
“Wha-”

  
“It is a good observation, but not enough to claim Bruce as the culprit.”

Tim gave an appreciative hum to indicate that Mari had a point.

“Oh, and I see you've used my hot chocolate recipe. Good job!” Tim sent a smug smirk to Damian- who had turned his glare to Tim at Marinette's words.

As he sipped his hot chocolate, his message was clear to Damian. Tim had just told him: ‘Hah. Take that, you unbelievably tiny kid!’

  
“And it can't be Dick.” Marinette said. She turned to Dick with an icy glare, so cold that even the sun would freeze. “Because, Dick, is trying to hide the fact that he has stolen my homemade cookies.”

  
“I couldn't stop myself!” He squeaked. “Please don't kill me yet!” The Wayne’s plus Jon sent him a disgusted look at his confession.

  
“It's your lucky day, Dick! Your time has not come.” She chirped dangerously. “Yet.” Her murderous smile would forever stay in their memories, unfortunately.

  
“I know for sure it wasn't Jason.” Jason's muffled laughter stilled. He had a feeling that that today would be the day all of his secrets was unloaded. “I saw you outside the window while coming here. I know exactly what you were doing.” Was Marinette's smile always this unnatural?

  
“Oh, come on, little pixie.” He let out a nervous laugh. “I'm your favourite bro, aren't I?”

  
“Hm. You've got a point.” She agreed. Jason's shoulder sagged in relief. Of course, it wasn't for long that he was relieved. “But, I know Dick couldn't have gotten this far unless he had gotten some help. You gave him tips, didn't you?”

  
“Tim could have given him tips too!” His words said one thing while his nervous actions said another. What an idiot.  
Marinette arched an eyebrow at him. 

  
“W-Well, even if I did give him tips, that doesn't explain how I’m innocent in this case!”

  
“Oh!” Marinette brightened. “Isn't it obvious? You knew Dick would get in trouble and would take away attention.” Dick pouted. “So you took the chance of no one noticing you to observe how B and Selina act around each other!”

  
Heads turned around to look at Jason.

  
“Oh!” Tim snapped his fingers in understanding. “So you want to learn how to act around Roy?”

  
“I'm out!” Jason grappled away but everyone knew that he knew he wouldn't be able to grapple away from them forever.

  
“I'll get him later.” Marinette waved it off. “One less person to unravel.” Her piercing gaze turned to everyone else. “Since I owe you, Tim, I'll let ya go.” Tim nodded, grateful for her mercy.

  
Damian turned to move away from the scene before the hunter could catch her prey.

  
“And where do you think you're going?” Damian stilled. Of course, he did. Who would be stupid enough to run away from Marinette?

  
“Tt. I need to feed Titus. Where else would I go?” He just needed a cool head. Maybe he would be left alone?

  
“...I'll leave you if you let me have Titus for a day. Or Alfred, any is fine.”

  
This...was outrageous! What imbecile blackmails them for a pet?! How dare she?...But it wasn't a bad deal. Maybe he could fool her and give her some other animal? Yes, that would be smart. He just needed some time 

  
“...Deal.” He was out in a matter of seconds. Jon snickered away the whole time.

  
“So that leaves only one suspect, right?” Selina asked. 

  
“No.” Tim smirked at Marinette's words. “There's two suspects.”

  
“What? Really?” She looked extremely lost. “There's no one else here, though?” She gasped. “You don't mean Alfred , do you?”

  
“Ok, look. I'll just get straight to the point. I’m getting tired and the writer is too.” From the corner of her eye, Marinette could see Jason peeping through a window and Damian peeking from behind the wall.

  
“No one could have stolen your ‘Precious pearl’, Selina.” She explained. “Because there was no pearl to begin with.” Collective gasps ran through the hallway. Selina only smirked.

  
“You were bored by the lack of activity and wanted chaos, didn't you?”

  
“And chaos I got!” Selina grinned. “That was one good show you gave me!”

  
Marinette gave a pleasant smile. “Glad you enjoyed it!” 

  
“Uh, Mari?” Jon called for her from beside her after taking a good long look at the murderous glares of half if the Waynes. “I'm sure you don't want to dirty your self designed outfit. It's about to get real here.”

  
“You're right!” She looked horrified at the idea.

  
Jon rolled his eyes. “Just hop on, cupcake.”  
And so they flew away. To where, you ask? No idea!


End file.
